Journal entry as Edna from "Chef's House."
I tried to get though to Wes, to see if maybe this summer actually changed him a bit. I had asked him to consider how life would be for us if he supposed none of that bad stuff had ever happened (381). Wes got defensive and told me he could never do such a thing because then he would just be pretending he was somebody else. It’s just hard for me to accept the way things ended up with Wes, I remember we used to spend so much time together and he used to be so different. After he found out about Fat Linda, he just transformed back into the Wes I knew before the summer house.
In a way, this house is a kind of rehab for us. The worst part, though, is that I think our relationship can only continue successfully if we live here. I just wish he didn’t get so damn sad when he found out we had to move out… I think we could work on things if he’d be willing. But maybe I don’t even want to work on things. I’m not sure if it’s me or this house that makes him happy. If it were me, why would it matter if we had to move elsewhere? I don’t know, I suppose this place is just good for him.
Last night when we found out about Linda having to move in, I cooked the rest of the fish we had and we had an extremely awkward supper. I swear, you could have heard a pin drop. Wes spent most of dinner playing around with his food, with his head plopped down a few inches from his plate. It’s like he had no gas left in his tank. That, or he just gave up on himself… it’s clear he’s given up on us. We both plan on leaving here tomorrow even though we have until the end of the month. Chef was nice enough to let Wes stay with him for a week or so just so he doesn’t have to be alone. I still write Bobby and I think I’m gonna go out to Washington and see how he’s doing. I have nothing else to go home to, my friend isn’t gonna be taking me back and I don’t know what I want.
I do know, though, that the summer at this house has been great. I’ll never forget the times I had and how great it was to spend time with Wes. When I think about him later on in my life, I want images from this summer to come into my head. It’s just a shame things can’t be how they are in those smaller moments that we remember. But maybe those moments are so special because they’re small. I suppose the bigger the picture, the more prone you are to finding some flaws. This is a good time for me to move on, beyond Wes. I’ll keep that small photo in my pocket along the way.
First off, you make a beautiful Edna. I mean, damn girl.
ReplyDeleteEverything you said was true to the story and flowed without question of authenticity. There were three statements that really stood out among it all though...
The idea of it being her or the house that makes Wes happy fits and expands Wes' reaction from the story. He is irrationally upset though he still has time left. It is a major question, but I think you provide the answer when saying if it was her that they could have just moved elsewhere.
The image of Wes with his head plopped down next to his plate builds on the irrational reaction and seems to me like the physical slump that he would have been in afterward.
Small photo metaphor to end = brilliance. I was initially tripped up and wondering if I had missed a photographic reference in-story. Nay, brilliance.